When someone you love is struggling with anxiety, it can be hard to know what to say.
You might want to help — to fix it, to make it stop — but sometimes your words land the wrong way.
If you’ve ever said “Just try to relax” or “Don’t worry about it” and seen it backfire, you’re not alone.
Anxiety is deeply real for the person experiencing it, but often hard for others to understand.
The truth? You don’t need to solve it.
You just need to show up — with steady, calm energy that reminds them they’re not alone.
👀 How to Know if Someone Is Struggling with Anxiety
Anxiety doesn’t always look like panic attacks or visible distress. It often hides beneath the surface.
Here are some common signs to look out for:
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Restlessness: Fidgeting, tapping feet, struggling to sit still.
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Constant worry: Getting stuck in “what if” thoughts.
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Avoidance: Cancelling plans or steering clear of certain places.
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Irritability or fatigue: Snapping easily or seeming constantly drained.
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Difficulty focusing: Zoning out or forgetting things.
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Physical tension: Tight muscles, headaches, stomach issues, or poor sleep.
Everyone’s anxiety looks different — so the key is to stay observant, patient, and open-minded.
💬 What to Say to Someone with Anxiety
When anxiety rises, connection matters more than correction.
You don’t need perfect words — you just need presence.
Here are six phrases that help:
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“I’m here for you.”
A reminder that they’re not a burden and don’t have to explain everything.
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“That sounds really hard.”
Validates their experience instead of trying to fix it.
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“You’re not alone in this.”
Reassures them that you’re staying close, even when things feel heavy.
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“Would it help if I stayed with you right now?”
Offers comfort but gives them a choice — which restores a sense of control.
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“Thank you for trusting me with this.”
Acknowledges how brave it is to open up.
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“Do you want to talk about it, or just sit together?”
Lets them decide what feels safe.
💡 It’s okay if you stumble or don’t know what to say. Calm presence beats perfect phrasing every time.
🚫 What Not to Say to Someone with Anxiety
Even well-intentioned words can make anxiety worse.
Here are phrases to avoid — and why:
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“Just relax.” → Suggests they’re failing at something easy.
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“You’re overreacting.” → Minimises and invalidates their feelings.
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“Don’t worry about it.” → Dismisses their reality.
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“Everyone gets stressed.” → Creates shame and comparison.
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“Think positive.” → Oversimplifies a real mental health challenge.
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“You’ll be fine.” → Skips over what they’re actually feeling right now.
If you’re unsure, lead with empathy instead of advice.
❤️ 12 Ways to Support Someone with Anxiety
Supporting someone with anxiety isn’t about fixing them.
It’s about helping them feel safe, grounded, and understood.
Here’s how:
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Start with validation.
“Thanks for telling me. That sounds really tough.”
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Ask what helps.
“Would quiet company, a walk, or distraction help right now?”
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Go slow.
“No rush — we can take this one step at a time.”
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Keep it simple.
“You’re safe. I’m here.”
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During panic.
Stay calm, speak softly, and help them focus on one grounding thing — like slow breathing. Always ask before touching.
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Create a quick plan.
Step one: name the anxiety.
Step two: do a grounding exercise (like breathing in for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 6).
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Encourage professional help — gently.
Offer to help find options or go with them if they’re nervous.
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Avoid the reassurance loop.
Instead of “It’ll be fine,” try “Uncertainty is hard — what’s one step we can take anyway?”
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Offer practical help.
Anxiety drains energy. Offer to grab food, help with errands, or simplify tasks.
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Send grounding texts.
“Thinking of you — no reply needed.” Little check-ins go a long way.
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Reflect afterward.
When things calm down, ask: “What helped? What should we do next time?”
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Look after yourself too.
Supporting someone else can be heavy. Protect your own energy and get support if you need it.
💭 Common Questions
What are comforting things to say to someone with anxiety?
You don’t need perfect words. Just honesty and warmth:
“I’m here for you,” “That sounds hard,” or “You’re not alone.”
Should I talk about anxiety directly?
Ask permission first: “Would you like to talk about what’s going on, or would you rather do something together?”
What if I say the wrong thing?
It’s okay. Just say, “I see that wasn’t helpful — I’m sorry.” It’s the care that counts, not perfection.
How can I help during a panic attack?
Stay calm, speak softly, and remind them, “You’re safe. This will pass.” Avoid too many instructions — just stay with them.
Is texting supportive?
Yes. Messages give them space to respond when ready. Even “Thinking of you — no need to reply” can help them feel less alone.
🌿 Final Thoughts
Supporting someone with anxiety isn’t about having the right answers.
It’s about being steady when their world feels unsteady.
Anxiety thrives in isolation. Presence, patience, and understanding are the antidotes.
At Calibrate, we believe in helping people track what’s helping and what’s hurting their anxiety — so they can better understand their triggers, habits, and progress.
Because awareness is where recovery begins — and nobody should have to face anxiety alone.
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